I’m a parent, and birthday parties stress me out.
Ironically, it’s not the idea of having 10 screaming 7-year-olds in my house that gives me the most anxiety: it’s the gifts.
I’m finding that the challenge of being a “North American” parent isn’t putting food on the table, it’s dealing with the mountains of toys that our kids get from McDonald’s, family, Christmas and birthdays. Our kids have way too much stuff.
On the other side of the coin, shopping for birthday gifts for other people’s children is equally stressful. When I was young, kids gave one GI Joe or one Ninja Turtle. The cost was around 5 bucks. Nowadays, at least in our area, the average gift is $20. There also seems to be an underlying competition to see which kid can bring the most extravagant gift to a party. Invariably, a birthday party invitation means driving to Wal-Mart, and trolling the shelves for something that you hope will “fit in.”
With my 6-year-old’s birthday party approaching we decided to try something different: A Sir Laurier party. Here in Canada, it is Sir Laurier who graces our $5 bill. In the birthday invitations we invited our guests to make a creative card, and give “a Sir Laurier” instead of a gift. Our hope was to:
- Teach our daughter a valuable lesson about materialism and waste
- Reduce stress amongst parents (so they wouldn’t have to run to the store to purchase an expensive gift)
- Reduce stress amongst the invited kids (so they wouldn’t compare each others gifts)
- Reduce our own stress that comes from the clutter of having to many plastic items laying around our home
It felt like a risk: we were all a bit uneasy about it. My daughter wasn’t sure it would be as much “fun.” My wife and I were worried about the kids and parents misinterpreting our intent.
Well, it was a total success: parents called to thank us, kids made the most beautiful cards, and our daughter had an amazing party. She is now saving her “birthday money” for something (that we hope) will be of high quality and use for her.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Aaron // Dec 11, 2009 at 4:16 pm
This is a great idea! We have had “no gift” birthday parties, and these have been great as well. We found that it reduced the stress of the “goodie bag” as well, we have been to parties where the goodie bag that our daughter received was worth more than what we brought as a gift, which makes us feel awkward. Sir Laurier, I solute you.
2 Joel Stainer // Dec 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Love the idea! We are doing a similar thing but with Toonies. We didn’t think of the creative card idea, but I think we might have to add that part in as it sounds like a ton of fun.
I am always looking for ways to reduce “stuff” in the house and in my life, so this is one great way to start.
3 Kathy // Dec 11, 2009 at 4:46 pm
A family in our neighbourhood has a toonie party for her kids birthdays every year. The first year they did it, the mom bought a scooter for her daughter on behalf of the friends. Then each child came with 2 toonies (and no gift). One toonie went to a charity and one went to contribute towards the group gift. As the kids arrived there were 2 boxes at the front (to collect the money for the charity and the gift). Then, at gift time, all the kids helped carry the scooter in to the birthday girl. Less gifts, less chaos, less waste, and a donation to charity. It’s a great idea.
4 Justin // Dec 11, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Ooooh! Love the charity idea. That might be something we try the next iteration.
Yes, this idea was based off the “toonie” idea. I think we’ll use toonies for the younger children; “Sir Laurier” seemed to be a more appropriate level for a 7 year-old (or at least a good transition amount).
I’m embarrassed to say that in the past I’ve purchased a lot of those “Happy Meals” toys for my kids. We’re cutting that out too.
5 Tracy // Dec 16, 2009 at 3:22 am
Fantastic idea Justin!! I also really love the 2, twoonie idea. Awesome!
6 Eanna Carter // Oct 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm
We are doing the same thing at my soon to be 6 year olds birthday party. A toonie party (toonie for him) and a non-parishable food idea for the food bank. I am trying to teach my kids the importance of helping out the community. As well as, teaching them that there are alot of people out there that don’t have 1/2 of the things that we do!!
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